While at my parent's house this week, I was hit with a revelation.
My parents have a FLR. Okay, I'm not certain about kinky sex is part and parcel of this deal (and dear God I have no desire to know!), I know that my mother is definetly the boss.
Looking at their responsibilities, my mother is in charge of finances, made the greater share of the money, and seems to make all the major decisions (that I'm aware of). While my father more or less goes along with her. He also does dishes, laundry, and cooking.
I have to admit it has been there staring me in the face for years but I never really thought about it. THey have unconventional gender roles. And well..that is just freaking awesome. And disconcerting. Mostly awesome though.
Obviously our fathers (for women) are the first men we form a relationship with and forms a lens for how we view all men that come into our lives. I was woken up the other morning by my dad who was handed me a cup of coffee with just the right amount of Splenda and cream in it. He informed me that he'd made biscuits for breakfast. Which I enjoyed with honey and butter.
Viewed through my current lens of female domination it made me think. Now, I do not have a sexual relationship with my father. That is just...ewwww. And wrong. And nasty to even contemplate. But, it just made me view my relationship with him differently and consquently my relationships with men.
Thinking back to my childhood, I spent a great deal of time with him and more or less had him wrapped around my finger. He got me ready for school when I was in kindegarten. This included doing my hair. He was always a better guest at my little tea parties than my mother. He'd sit there with me forever on his tiny chair swilling imaginary tea. We used to go for walks together and I would bend his ear about any number of topics. He was very kind and very nurturing.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But it gave me pause for that. My dad is much more of a man than those who have girlfriends on the side, or run out on their wives and children altogether.
Given the option between an alpha male? And a beta male? I'll take beta every damn time.
what a refreshingly honest post....I can see there is only curiousness and not erotic dalliances in your thoughts....I too wonder sometimes about my parents, my own kids etc....there is a great book I believe called Fathers and Daughters or Like Father Like Daughter something like that and it explores how women form the basis of their adult thinking based on the relationship they had with their Dads and its not about incest either....
ReplyDeleteWell Cyndy, my parents have a similar relationship and besides women usually are better with finances anyway. They are much more organized and thorough in my experience. Us men don't or at least I don't like to handle on going never ending tasks like finance. I can handle laundry, dishes, trash, and cooking and even though they are repetitious, they all have a definitive end to the task. In fact, thats all I want from my LFA is to handle finance. I would happily hand my weekly check over and be done with it. Then do whatever else that needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteSissy@Heart:
ReplyDeleteI do believe that men and women are different. One is not better than the other. One just chooses to submit...
bdenied:
ReplyDeleteI'm going to check that book out! Thanks for the suggestion!
I keep thinking about this post for some reason. It's so sweet and thought provoking. Thanks Ms. Rayne. I'm looking forward to more like this.
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